Critics Getting It All Wrong ….
— Will humanity be able to withstand alien criticism?
Today on Facebook, my friend and fellow musician Cal Cali posted the below Ed Sullivan 1964 review regarding the Beatles. I don’t know which publication published the Paul Jones As I See It review, but likely it was printed as a small media market syndicated column.
Anyway, what you’ll read is a major example of getting it all wrong!
So having read that and becoming amused, I decided to delve deeper into examples of critics getting it all wrong. I found some interesting examples.
New York Times vs. Elvis
In 1956, NYT writer Jack Gould thought he had the whole skinny on Elvis. He wrote: “Mr Presley has no discernible singing ability. His specialty is rhythm songs which he renders in an undistinguished whine; his phrasing, if it can be called that, consists of the stereotyped variations that go with a beginner’s aria in a bathroom. For the ear, he is an unutterable bore.”
Understanding Kate Bush
>>>Some artists are so far ahead of their time, it can take critics a while to catch up. But the issue when Kate Bush emerged in the late-70s was different. She was unlike any British artist before or since — a complete original — and, if anything, she was accused of being behind the times, not ahead of them.
Her debut single, Wuthering Heights, came out in 1978 — after the punk explosion — to much head-scratching from the press. As the Guardian reported, “Her odd combo of artiness and artlessness, and the way she came across in interviews — at once guileless and guarded — made her a target for music-press mockery. Her music was often dismissed as a middlebrow soft option, easy listening with literary affectations.”
The assault was typified by Charles Shaar Murray of the NME in a review of a 1979 gig, which he described as “all the unpleasant aspects of David Bowie in the Mainman era…. [Bowie manager] Tony DeFries would’ve loved you seven years ago, Kate, and seven years ago maybe I would’ve too. But these days I’m past the stage of admiring people desperate to dazzle and bemuse, and I wish you were past the stage of trying those tricks yourself.”
The public paid no attention. Wuthering Heights was a №1, and Kate had two other Top 10s before 1980 was over. Come her second flurry of hits in the mid-80s, with songs like Running Up That Hill and Hounds of Love, the press made a dramatic U-turn. Kate suddenly became critically adored, as well as commercially successful. (Phil Hebblethwaite)<<<
It’s Not Just Music … Movies & Books Too!
Unfortunately, we’ll never know if this negative Wizard of Oz reviewer would have changed his mind. Sadly, and heroicallly, he died in World War II four years after he wrote his scathing review. Set back and imagine this review of The Wizard of Oz, written in 1939, by Otis Ferguson of The New Republic:
>>>The Wizard of Oz was intended to hit the same audience as Snow White, and won’t fail for lack of trying. It has dwarfs, music, technicolor, freak characters, and Judy Garland. It can’t be expected to have a sense of humor as well — and as for the light touch of fantasy, it weighs like a pound of fruitcake soaking wet. Children will not object to it, especially as it is a thing of many interesting gadgets; but it will be delightful for children mostly to their mothers, and any kid tall enough to reach up to a ticket window will be found at the Tarzan film down the street. The story of course has some lovely and wild ideas — men of straw and tin, a cowardly lion, a wizard who isn’t a very good wizard — but the picture doesn’t know what to do with them, except to be painfully literal and elaborate about everything… [The New Republic]<<<
How Could Anyone Be Against Lord of The Rings?
One of the best-selling books of all time, J.R.R. Tolkein’s Volume One of the Lord of the Rings trilogy was published in 1954. Over the years, this famous table-setter of science fiction actually achieved many one-star reviews. Here are some of them (typos included):
- I tried and tried again to get through these books in their entirety but haven’t been able to do it. Who wants to read about this stuff anyway? The answer is: WEIRDOS! Stay away not only from these books, but from the people who read them.
- Elves and dwarves are lame. Tom Bombodil is more annoying than Jar-jar Binks.
- This book is so boring!!! I think this is the most boring book in the world. I don’t this thing should be a book!
- Tolkien is recognized for his revolutionary writing style. But the book moves too slowly as his vivid sensory details extend the book that ultimately is about a long walk. I love the movie because it gives a better sense of the characters emotions. But the book was too slow for me.
- Where can I start with this? First off, the book is an extremely dry read. It takes around 20 pages just to start, and when it finally does, it drones on and on, irrelevantly about Bilbo. I honestly thought I was being punked. Turns out, around page 66 is when Gandalf finally does his infamous scene telling Frodo to take The Ring.
- The books have super detailed descriptions of the geography of the places, which made the reading way too tedious. Besides, heroes are supposed to act like heroes, not like cowards. And that IMO is what Frodo is: a coward forever denying his mission.
- Its about as exciting as reading the dictionary and just as long. Tolkien was one messed up dude. ITs more like descriptions of places and things more than an actual story. I’d rather read the back of a bottle of shampoo.
- This book is SLOW. The characters aren’t real at all, and they each have about 50 names. Take Aragorn for example: Strider Aragorn, Estel, King Ellisar, Plain Ellisar, etc. The names are unoriginal, like Arwen and Eowyn, different by one syllable. The book is rather confusing by itself, then if you read all the appendixes, you don’t know who is who. The whole book is simply fighting and killing, with an occasional appearence by Gandalf. Merry and Pippin are the only source of humor, if they ever come up in the book. Did I mention that the characters are totally fake? Their actions are random and unpredictable, even for a fantasy, their speech is ridiculous. The “Greatest Fantasy Epic of our time” is a silly name for a book this long and boring. Totally overrated, this book stinks.
- With respect to you Tolkein fanboys out there, this book is garbage. I wouldn’t line a litter box with this junk. If you enjoy being bored to tears by minutia, this book is for you. Everyone else, stay the hell away!
- It is a disquised South African White supremist fairy tale.
- I desperately want to drench this book in oil, light it on fire, and throw it into oncoming traffic.
- I have read a great deal of boring books in my life, but this one might take the cake. When the reproductive cycle of algae is more interesting than this work of fiction, you know you’re in trouble.
- Let me sum up the plot of this 400+ pg book for you: Frodo and co pack their bags, rest, eat a good meal, and walk. Walk, walk, walk through the forests, walk to Elrond’s house, walk to Moria, walk to where the elves live. AND NOTHING EVER HAPPENS.
- Tolkien would have used his time much better if he had used it to cut the grass for an elderly lady, work as a volunteer in a soup kitchen, or collect money for the blind.
Yes, It Happens in Politics Also!
Yellow journalism, corporate monopolized journalism and bad reviews in general can often lead to war, especially when money is made from war: Remember The Maine, Bay of Pigs, Gulf of Tonkin, Iran-Contra, Saddam’s WMD and, more recently, Russiagate contributing to conflict over Ukraine. It’s never a pretty picture. As always, truth becomes victimized with war!
Russia Supposed to Invade Ukraine Today
As of this writing, we were told Russia specifically, on February 16th, would invade Ukraine. This allegation was presented after a nearly two full months of daily reminders Russia was going to invade. All of this despite Russia’s daily reminders, and promise to the UN Security Council, that it had no such plans. But, paradoxically, when it is the US president provides the review, and multiple Western media sources.… the whole world must hear.
So it goes ….
Anyway, February 16th just ended here on Boston, Massachusetts time. There was no Russian invasion!
However, in Kiev when the time rolled around, this is what was heard at the Maiden Independence Square in Kiev. Turns out the Russians did invade, but only with its national anthem.
Conclusion
Feel welcome to respond with your own accounts of bad reviews, whether in music, movies, books or politics.
